Proofs on the obligations of Hijab (Veil)

We start in the name of Allah, the only One Who deserves to be worshipped, the only Creator, the One with no similar, the One Who has no wife or children, the One Who ordered us to follow His rules and to be pious and patient in His obedience. We ask Him to increase the honor and the rank of His beloved slave and messenger, our master Muhammad, and to save his nation from that which he fears for it. I ask Allah to grant us sincerity and piety, and make this work beneficial to anyone reads it.

Covering the Person's Nakedeness (^Awrah)

Some people these days are on either side of two extremes. Some say a woman should cover her entire body from head to foot while others do not want her to cover her face denying that such a matter is a rewardable act or even want her to uncover more of her body than what is covered. The correct matter is to use the Islamic rules as a guide and do as Islam deems necessary.

Raising one’s Hands during Salat (Prayer)

Question: A few people in our locality raise their hands before and after doing
‘Rukoo’. Is it a correct act while praying?

Is it haraam for a woman who is junub to cook or touch things?

Question: My question is that how soon after havin sex should a bath be taken. We have heard that everything you do before having bath like walk or cook is haram.Is it ok to take bath before your next praye. God bless you for your services.

Free Mixing Between Men And Women

All praise due to Allah the most gracious the most merciful
Allah Almighty said,

{وَإِذَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُنَّ مَتَاعًا فَاسْأَلُوهُنَّ مِن وَرَ‌اءِ حِجَابٍ ذَٰلِكُمْ أَطْهَرُ‌ لِقُلُوبِكُمْ وَقُلُوبِهِنَّ }

'Translation' {And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs} [Al-Ahzab:53]
Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: «The best of the men’s rows is the first and the worst is the last, and the best of the women’s rows is the last and the worst in the first» (Muslim).

HOW TO PERFORM GHUSL (SPIRITUAL BATH) IN ISLAM

NOTE : ALL YOUR PRAYERS ARE INVALID IF YOUR GHUSL IS NOT CORRECT.

Ghusl means bath..

Before making Ghusl one should make Niyyah (intention) thus: - "I am performing Ghusl so as to become Paak." Without Niyyah, there is no Thawaab (reward) although Ghusl will be valid. Ghusl should be made in a place of total privacy and one should not face towards the Kiblah while making Ghusl. Ghusl may be performed standing or seated, preferably seated. Use sufficient water, don't skimp nor be wasteful. One should abstain from speaking while performing Ghusl. It is better not to read any Kalimah or Aayah while bathing. Be aware of these rules whilst making Ghusl.

Procedure for performing ghusl

1. Wash both hands up to and including wrists.
2. Wash the private parts. The hands and private parts should be washed even if one is not in the state of Janaabat or Najaasat.
3. If there is Najaasat elsewhere on the body, it should now be washed off.
4. Perform Wudhu (Read separate pamphlet for Wudhu according to Sunnah). If making Ghusl on a stool or platform where water will rapidly flow away, and then perform the complete Wudhu. If there is fear of the feet being immersed in wastewater during the Ghusl then postpone the washing of the feet to the end of the Ghusl.
5. Ensure that the mouth and nostrils are thoroughly rinsed thrice.
6. After performing Wudhu, pour water over the head thrice;
7. Then pour thrice over right shoulder and;
8. Thrice again over left shoulder.
9. Now pour water over entire body and rub.
10. If the hair of the head is not plaited, it is compulsory to wet all the hair up to the very base. If a single hair is left dry, Ghusl will not be valid. If the hair of a woman is plaited, she is excused from loosening her plaited hair, but it is compulsory for her to wet the base of each and every hair. If one fails to do this then the Ghusl will not be valid. As for men who grow long hair and plait them, they are NOT excused from leaving their hair dry. If a woman experiences difficulty or is unable to wet the very bottom of her plaited hair, then it is necessary for her to unplaite her hair and wash her entire head.
11. It is Mustahab (preferable) to clean the body by rubbing it.
12. All parts of the body should be rubbed with the hand so as to ensure that water has reached all parts of the body, and that no portion is left dry.
13. Rings and earrings, etc. should be moved so as to ensure that no portion covered by them is left dry. Ensure that the navel and the ears are all wetted. If they are not wet Ghusl will be incomplete.
14. On completion one should confine oneself to a clean place. If, while performing Wudhu, the feet had been washed, it is not necessary to wash them again.
15. Dry the body with a clean towel, and dress as hastily as possible.

If, after Ghusl, one recalls that a certain portion of the body is left dry, it is not necessary to repeat the Ghusl, but merely wash the dry portion. It is not sufficient to pass a wet hand over the dry place. If one has forgotten to rinse the mouth or the nostrils, these too could be rinsed when recalled after Ghusl has been performed.

The three Faraa'ids (compulsory acts) of Ghusl are:

1. To rinse the mouth in such a manner that water reaches the entire mouth.
2. To rinse the nostrils up to the ending of the fleshy part.
3. To completely wet the whole body. When one performs these Faraa'id intentionally or unintentionally Ghusl will be valid.

Sea-food according to the Four Madhhāhib (Schools of Thought)

Hanafī:

The only living creatures of the sea that are permissible are those that are in the form of a fish with an exception of the hagfish and eel. (Ibid). (these 2 even though they are not in the form of a fish they will be permissible to consume). Hence, it will not be permissible to eat oyster, oyster extract, shrimp and lobsters. It will be permissible to consume shark as it is in the form of a fish.

Mālikī:

Every living creature of the sea is halal except eel. (Ibid) Hence, oyster, oyster extract, shrimp, lobster and shark are halal and permissible.

Shafi`ī:

all living creatures that live in the sea are halal, whether they are in the form of a fish or not. Based on this, oyster, oyster extract, shrimp, lobster and shark are all halal and permissible.

Hanbalī:

All living creatures that live in the sea are halal, whether they are in the form of a fish or not. Based on this, oyster, oyster extract, shrimp, lobster and shark are all halal and permissible.

The Death of the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam)

               


COMPLETION OF HIS TASK:

When Islam reached the pinnacle of perfection, these words were sent down by Allah:
‘Today ! have perfected your religion for you, and I have completed My blessing on you, and I have approved Islam for your religion.’(5: 3) The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah had conveyed the message truthfully, he had fulfilled the trust placed in him and had striven for Allah as he should. Allah had delighted His Prophet when people entered Islam in throngs. At this stage, Allah gave His Prophet permission to leave this world and the hour of meeting drew near. Allah announced:
When comes the help of Allah and victory and you see people entering into the religion of Allah in throngs, then glorify the praise of your Lord and ask His forgiveness. He is Ever-turning. (110: 1-3)

THE PROPHET’S ILLNESS:

The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah was taken ill shortly before the end of Safar. During the night he had been to Baqi’ al-Gharqad, a cemetery in Madinah now called al-Baqi’, to pray for the dead. The following morning he became ill.
A’ishah, Umm al-Mu’minin (may Allah be pleased with her) said, ‘The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah returned from al-Baqi’ and found me suffering from a headache. I was saying, “O my head!” He said, “Rather, by Allah, A’ishah, my head!” ‘
His pain increased. Then, in the house of Maymunah, he called his wives and asked them to permit him to be nursed in A’ishah’s house. All of them agreed. He came out walking between two men of his family, Fadl ibn Abbas and Ali ibn Abi Talib. His head was bandaged and his feet were dragging as he entered A’ishah’s house.
A’ishah said that during his final illness, he told her, ‘A’ishah, I still feel pain from the food I ate at Khaybar. I feel my aorta being cut because of that poison.’

THE LAST EXPEDITION:

The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah had ordered Usamah ibn Zayd ibn Harithah to lead an expedition to Syria, commanding him to take the cavalry to the borders of al-Balqa’ and ad-Darun in Palestine.
Many of the leading Muhajirun and Ansar were in his army, the most eminent being Umar ibn al-Khattab. The Prophet’s illness took a serious turn when the army was at the border of al-Jurf. After his death, Abu Bakr(R.A.) sent forward the army under Usamah(R.A.) in order to carry out the Prophet’s last wishes and to fulfil what he had wanted.
During his illness, the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah told the Muslims to offer hospitality to the delegations in the way that he had and to be generous with their gifts to them. They should not allow two religions to co-exist but should expel the idol-worshippers from the Arabian peninsula.

A CAUTION:

One day while he was ill, a group of Muslims gathered in A’ishah’s house. The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah welcomed them and prayed for their guidance on the right path, their victory and their success. He said, ‘I advise you to fear Allah and I pray for Allah to watch over you. I am a clear warner to you from Him. Do not be arrogant where Allah’s servants and habitations are concerned. Allah has said to me and to you, “That is the Last Abode; We appoint it for those who desire not exorbitance in the earth, nor corruption. The ultimate issue is to the God-fearing. “(28: 83) and “is there not in Jahannam a lodging for those who are proud!” (39: 60)’

AN ASCETIC:

A’ishah said that the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah said during his final illness, A’ishah, what have you done with the gold!’ When she brought a few coins to him, he began to turn them over in his hand and said, ‘What could Muhammad say to his Lord if he were to meet Him with these! Give them away!’

CONCERN FOR THE PRAYER:

The pain was hard for the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah to bear. He asked, ‘Have the people prayed? Those with him answered, ‘No, they are waiting for you, Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah.’
He said, ‘Pour some water into a basin for me.’
When they took it to him, he washed and tried to get up, but he fainted. When he regained consciousness, he asked,
‘Have the people prayed?’
‘No, they are waiting for you, Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah.
‘Pour some water into a basin for me.
He washed again and tried to get up, but once again he fainted. When he regained consciousness, he asked,
‘Have the people prayed?’
Once more he was told, ‘No, they are waiting for you, Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah.
He again said, ‘Pour some water into a basin for me.
He washed and struggled to get up, but once more he fainted. When he came to he asked, ‘Have the people prayed?’
‘No, they are waiting for you, Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah.

CONCERN FOR THE IMAMAH OF ABU BAKR:

The people were sitting quietly in the mosque waiting for the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah to lead the ‘Isha’ prayer. However, he sent for Abu Bakr to lead it instead. Abu Bakr, a tender-hearted man, said, “Umar, you lead the prayer!’
Umar replied, ‘You are more qualified to do it.’ So Abu Bakr led the people in prayer during that period.
When the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah felt better he went out for the Zuhr prayer supported by two men, al-Abbas and Ali ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with them). When Abu Bakr saw him arrive, he began to move back but the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah motioned to him not to move. He asked al-Abbas and Ali to seat him by Abu Bakr who prayed standing while the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah prayed sitting.

THE FAREWELL ADDRESS:

Sitting on the mimbar with his head bandaged the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah said, ‘Allah gave one of His slaves the choice between this world or that which is with Him. His Slave chose that which is with Allah.’ Abu Bakr realised that the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah was referring to himself and broke into tears, saying, ‘We will ransom you with ourselves and our sons.

A LAST LOOK:

Abu Bakr led the Muslims in prayer until the Monday morning. While the Muslims performed the Fair prayer, the Prophet lifted up the curtain of A’ishah’s door and gazed at them standing before their Lord. He saw the fruits of his efforts to call people to Islam and jihad and Allah knew how happy he was. His face was beaming with joy.
The Companions Said, ‘He lifted the curtain of A’ishah’s room and stared at us while he was standing there. It was as if his face was an open page of the Qur’an; he smiled and we were put to the test by getting carried away with our delight. We thought he might be coming out to the prayer but he indicated to us to finish it. He then pulled the curtain down. That was the day on which he died.’

A WARNING:

One of the last pronouncements of the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah was, ‘May Allah fight the Jews and Christians! They turned the graves of their Prophets into places of worship. Two religions should not remain in the land of the Arabs.’
A’ishah and Ibn Abbas said, ‘When the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah was ill, he drew up his cloak over his face. When he was distressed, he uncovered his face and while he was like that, he said, “May Allah curse the Jews and the Christians who turned the graves of their Prophets into places of worship.” He was warning the Muslims against that practice.’

THE FINAL INSTRUCTIONS:

When the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah was close to death, he repeated, ‘Be careful of prayer and those in your charge.’ Then his breast began to heave and his speech became inaudible.
Ali said, ‘The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah commended the prayer and zakat to Muslims and to be generous to those in their charge.’
A’ishah said: ‘When he had his fatal illness I started reciting al-Mu’awwidhatayn as he used to do when he was ill. He raised his eyes to the Heaven and said: “With the Highest Companion, with the Highest Companion”.’
She added: ‘just at that moment, Abdur-Rahman ibn Abi Bakr came in with a small, green, freshly-cut twig in his hand. The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah looked at it and I thought that he wanted to use it as a miswak. I took it and chewed it to make it soft and pliable, then I handed it to him. He rubbed his teeth with it thoroughly. Then just as he tried to hand it back to me it fell from his hand.’
She also said, ‘In front of him was a small pot of water. He dipped his hand into it and wiped his face, saying, “There is no god but Allah. Verily there are pangs of death.” Then he raised his forefinger and began to say, “The Highest Companion, the Highest Companion!” until he died and his hand slipped into the water.’
A’ishah described his last moments: ‘The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah was ill and his head rested on my thigh. He fainted and then regained consciousness and looked up at the ceiling. He said, “O Allah, the Highest Companion.” Those were the last words that the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah spoke.’

LEAVING THIS WORLD:

When the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah left this world, he controlled the entire Arabian peninsula and kings feared him. Yet he left not a dinar or dirham, not a male or female slave, nothing except his white mule, some weapons and a piece of land he had already given away as sadaqah, charity.
His armour had been pawned with a Jew for thirty sa’s of barley. He had been unable to find anything with which to redeem it before he died.
During his illness, the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah set free forty slaves. He asked A’ishah to give away as sadaqah the six or seven dinars she was keeping for him.
A’ishah has related, ‘When the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah died, there was nothing in the house that a living creature could eat except a little barley on a shelf. It lasted for a long time until I weighed it and then it finished.’
The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah died on Monday, 12 Rabi’ al-Awwal, 11 A.H. in the heat of the afternoon. He was sixty-three years old. It was the darkest, hardest and most difficult day for the Muslims and an affliction for mankind just as his birth had been the happiest day on which the sun ever rose.
Anas and Abu Sa’id al-Khudri said, ‘The day on which the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah came to Madinah was the most radiant ever known but the day on which he died was the darkest ever.’
When people saw Umm Ayman weeping they asked why. She answered, ‘l knew that the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah would die, but I weep for the revelation from heaven which has been taken from us.’

NEWS OF HIS DEATH:

News of the death of the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah descended on the Companions like a thunderbolt. They were stunned because of their intense love for him. They had become used to his loving care for them just as children are assured of the protection of their parents, but even more so. Of his concern Allah Almighty says, ‘Now there has come to you a Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) from among yourselves: grievous to him is your suticering: anxious is he over you, gentle to the believers, compassionate.’ (9: 128)
Every one of his Companions reckoned that he was more gracious and considerate to him than to any other Companion. Some of them could hardly believe the news of his death. Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) rebuked the person who told him and then he went to the mosque and addressed the people, saying, ‘The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, will not die until Allah annihilates the hypocrites.’
ABU BAKR(R.A.):
Abu Bakr(R.A.), a man of determination and courage, was needed at this difficult hour. He rushed out from his house when the news reached him. At the door of the mosque he stopped briefly and heard Umar addressing the people. Then he went straight to A’ishah’s room where the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah lay covered with a cloak. He uncovered his face and kissed him, saving, ‘You are dearer to me than my father and mother. You have tasted the death which Allah has decreed for you. A second death will never overtake you.’ He replaced the cloak over the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah’s face and returned to the mosque. He found Umar still speaking to the people. He called softly, ‘Umar, be quiet.’
Umar was too excited to listen and went on talking. Abu Bakr realised that Umar was not in a mood to pay attention, so he stepped forward to speak. When the people heard his voice, they came over to him, leaving Umar. Abu Bakr praised Allah and then said, ‘O people! If anyone worships Muhammad, tell him that Muhammad is dead. But if anyone worships Allah, then Allah is alive and does not die.’
Then he recited this verse: ‘Muhammad is only a Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam). Messengers have passed away before him. Why, if he should die or is slain, will you turn about on your heels? If any man should turn about on his heels, he will not harm God in any way; and God will recompense the thankful.’ (3: 144)
One man who witnessed the scene in the mosque, commented, ‘By Allah, it was as if the people did not know that this verse had been sent down until Abu Bakr recited it on that day. They listened to it and from then on it was always on their lips.’
Umar Said, ‘By Allah, when I heard Abu Bakr recite the verse, I was dumbfounded. I fell down as if my legs would not hold me up. I knew that the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was dead.’

ABU BAKR(R.A.) IS PAID HOMAGE AS CALIPH:

In the Hall of Banu Sa’idah, the Muslims paid homage to Abu Bakr as the successor to the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah. They were anxious to prevent devilish intrigues from destroying their unity. They were determined that the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah would leave this world with the Muslims unified and under a strong leader who could take charge of their affairs.

FAREWELL TO THE MESSENGER(SALLALLAHU ALAIYHI WASSALLAM) OF ALLAH:

The initial shock and grief experienced by the community were replaced by tranquillity and confidence. They concentrated on the task for which the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah had trained them, beginning with the preparations for his burial.
After members of his family had finished washing and shrouding his body, they placed it in a bier in his house. Abu Bakr told them that he had heard the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah say, ‘No Prophet dies but that he is buried where he dies.’
The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah’s bed, in which he had died, was removed and a grave dug beneath it by Abu Talhah al-Ansari.
The people came to pay their respects and to say the funeral prayer over him. They came in groups. First the men entered, then the women and lastly the children. No one acted as Imam for his funeral prayer.

A SAD DAY:

The Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah’s death heralded a sad day in Madinah. When Bilal gave the adhan for Fajr, he could not mention the Prophet without breaking down. Hearing his sobs increased the Muslims’ sorrow. They were used to listening to the adhan while the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah was in this world. Umm Salamah, the Umm al-Mu’minin, said, “What an affliction it was! No distress which befell us after that could compare with our loss of him, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.’
The Prophet had once said, ‘O people! Whoever of the people – or believers – has any affliction, they should take comfort by remembering their loss of me. None of my community will ever suffer a greater loss than my death.’

THE PROPHET’S WIVES:

Khadijah bint Khuwaylid al-Qurashiyyah al-Asadiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) was the first of the Prophet’s wives. He married her before his prophethood when she was forty. She died three years before the hijrah. She bore him all of his children except for Ibrahim.
After her death he married Sawdah bint Zam’ah al-Qurashiyyah. Later he was wedded to A’ishah as-Siddiqah bint Abi Bakr as-Siddiq who was the most intelligent and knowledgeable of the women of the Ummah. Hafsah bint Umar ibn al-Khattab was his next wife, followed by Zaynab bint Khuzaymah who died two months later. He then married Umm Salamah, Hind bint Abi Umayyah al-Qurashiyyah al-Makhzumiyyah who was the last of his wives to die. He also married Zaynab bint ,Jahsh, the daughter of his aunt Umaymah. He married Juwayriyyah bint al-Harith ibn Abi Dirar al-Mustaliqiyyah, Umm Habibah bint Abi Sufyan and Safiyyah bint Huyayy ibn Akhtab, chief of the Banu’n-Nadir. His last wife was Maymunah bint al-Harith al-Hilaliyyah. When he died he had nine wives; only Khadijah and Zaynab bint Khuzaymah had died during his lifetime. All of them, except A’ishah, had been widows when he married them. Two bondswomen also survived. They were Mariyah bint Sham’un, the Egyptian Copt who had been presented to him by Muqawqis, the ruler of Egypt, and who was the mother of his son Ibrahim, and Rayhanah bint Zayd, of the Banu’n-Nadir. When she became a Muslim, the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah set her free and married her.

THE PROPHET’S CHILDREN:

Khadijah bore him al-Qasim, by whom the Prophet had his kunyah; he was called Abul Qasim the father of al-Qasim. He died in infancy. Then Khadijah bore the Prophet four daughters: Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum, Fatimah, and another Son, Abdullah, who was known as at-Tayyib and at-Tahir. Fatimah was the Prophet’s most beloved daughter. Of Fatimah, he said that she would be the leader of the women in Paradise. She married Ali ibn Abi Talib, the son of the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah’s uncle. She had two sons, Hasan and Husayn, about whom the Messenger(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) of Allah said, ‘Al-Hasan and al-Husayn are the leaders of the youths in Paradise.
Mariyah the Copt was the mother of Ibrahim who died while still an infant. When he died, the Prophet said in sorrow, “The eye weeps and the heart is sad, but we do not say anything to incur the anger of Allah. We are sad, O Ibrahim”.

The Islamic Etiquettes Of Marriage And Sex

               

All praise is due to Allah, the One who said in the clear verses of His Book:

 "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect".[al-Room 30:21]


May the prayers and peace of Allah be upon His Prophet Muhammad, the one who said in an authenticated hadith : "Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers on the Day of Qiyama". [Ahmad and at-Tabaarani with hasan isnaad]


After this opening: There are in Islam, certain etiquettes upon anyone who marries and wishes to consummate his marriage with his wife. Most Muslims today, even those who exert themselves in Islamic worship, have either neglected or become totally ignorant of these Islamic etiquettes. Therefore, I decided to write this beneficial treatise clearly explaining these issues on the occasion of marriage of someone dear to me. I hope that it will be an aid to him and to other believing brothers in carrying out what the Chief of the Messengers has ordained on the authority of the Lord of the Worlds. I have followed that by pointing out certain issues important to every one who marries, and with which many wives in particular have been tested.


I ask Allah Most High to bring about some benefit from this treatise, and to accept this work solely for His glorious countenance. Surely, He is the Righteous, the Merciful.
It should be known that there are many etiquettes in the area of marriage. All that I am concerned with here in this quickly compiled work is that which is authenticated of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, that which is irreproachable from the standpoint of its chain of narration and upon which no doubt can be cast in terms of its constructions and meanings. In this way, whoever reads and follows this information will be on a clearly established basis in religion, and will have full confidence in the source and validity of his acitons. I hope for him that Allaah will put the final seal of felicity on his life, in reward for beginning his married life with the following of the sunnah, and to make for him among His slaves whose statement He has described in the Qur'an saying:
 And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." [al-Furqaan 25:74]


The final disposition of things is for those of pious practise, as the Lord of the Worlds said:
 As to the Righteous, they shall be amidst (cool) shades and springs (of water). And (they shall have) fruits, - all they desire. "Eat ye and drink ye to your heart's content: for that ye worked (righteousness)." Thus do We certainly reward the Doers of Good. [al-Mursalaat 77:41-44]


The following then, are those etiquettes:

1. Kindness toward your wife when you wish to enter into her
It is desirable, when one goes into his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, etc. This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa' bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: "I beautified 'As'ishah for Allaah's Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Then, he offered it to 'Aa'ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: "Take from the hand of the Prophet." She then took it and drank some. Then, the Prophet said to her, "Give some to your companion." At that point, I said: "O Messenger of Allaah, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand." He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. Then, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk. Then, the Prophet said about some women who were there with me: "Give them some." But, they said: "We don't want it." (ie. we are not hungry). The Prophet said: "Do not combine hunger and fibbing!" [Ahmad and al-Humaidi. Ahmad reports it with 2 isnaads - one of which supports the other, and it is supported...]"
2. Placing your hands on your wife's head and praying for her
The husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, mention the name of Allah Most High, and pray for Allah's blessings. As in the statement of the Prophet: "When any of you marries a woman ... he should hold her forelock, mention Allah Most High, and pray for His blessings saying: "O Allaah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her."


{Allaahumma innee as'aluka min khairiha wa khairi maa jabaltaha 'alaihi wa a'oodhubika min sharriha wa sharri maa jabaltaha 'alaihi} [Aboo Dawood and others. Al-Bukhari in "Af'aalul-'Ibaad", Aboo Dawood, Ibn Majah, al-Haakim, al-Baihaqee and Aboo Ya'laa with hasan isnaad ...]

3. The praying of husband and wife together
It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2 narrations:

• First: On the authority of Abu Sa'eed Mawla Abu Asyad who said: "I got married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Mas'ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa. When the prayer was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: 'No!' He said: 'Is it so?' And they said: 'Yes.' Then, I stepped forward and led the prayer though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, saying: 'When your wife comes to you, pray 2 rakaat. Then, ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.'" [Ibn Abi Shaibah and 'Abdur-Razzaaq]
•  Second: On the authority of Shaqeeq who said: "A man named Abu Hareez came and said: 'I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.' 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ood said to him: "Verily, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed. So, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.'" In another version of the same story, "'Abdullah went on to say: 'And say: 'O Allah give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O Allaah join us together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us that which is better.'" [Ibn Abi Shaibah and at-Tabaraani and 'Abdur-Razzaaq: Saheeh].

4. What to say at the time of making Love
When a Muslim man is about to enter his wife, he should always say first:
 Bismillahi, Allahumma jannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wa jannib ash-shaitaan maa razaqtanna  [In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (ie. offspring).]
About this, the Prophet said: "After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child". [al-Bukharee][1]


5. How he should come to her
It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes - from behind or from the front. About this Allaah revealed the following verse:
 "Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]


There are also various hadith on this subject, of which I will give only 2:

1. On the authority of Jaabir who said: "The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said : "From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina". [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]
2. On the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas who said: "The Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose their women in an uncomely manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came to al-Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She disapproved of it and told him: "We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!" This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allaah, revealed the verse: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223] (ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat). What is meant here is the entry which produces children." [Aboo Dawood, al-Haakim and others: Hasan isnaad and is supported].

6. The Prohibition of Sodomy
It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. This is understood from the verse quoted above (i.e. since a "planting ground" can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations cited above. There are also other hadith on the subject, among them:

• First: On the authority of Umm Salama who said: "When the Muhajireen came to Ansaar at al-Madeenah, some of them married women from the Ansaar. The women of the Muhajireen used to lie on their faces (during intercourse), while the women of the Ansaar never did it that way. Then, one of the men of the Muhajireen wanted his wife to do that. She refused until such time as she could ask the Prophet about it. She went to the Prophet but was embarassed to ask the question, adn so Umm Salama asked him. Then the verse was revealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet> said: "No! (not any way you wish) Except in one opening! (ie. the vagina)". [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhee and others : Saheeh]
• Second: On the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas who said: "'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab came to the Prophet and said: 'O Messenger of Allaah, I am destroyed!' The Prophet asked: 'And what has destroyed you, O 'Umar?' 'Umar said: `I turned my mount around last night.' (An expression which means he has sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.) The Prophet gave him no answer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223] and the Prophet said: "From the front and from the back, just beware of her anus and her menses". [an-Nasaa'ee in "`Ishratun-Nisaa" with hasan isnaad, at-Tirmidhee and others].
• Third: On the authority of Khuzaima ibn Thaabit who said: "A man asked the Prophet about entering women in the rear, or the entering by a man of his wife in her rear, and the Prohet answered: `Halaal (ie. permissible).' When the man turned to leave, the Prophet called him or ordered for him to be called back and said : "What did you say? In which of the 2 openings did you mean? If what you meant was from her rear and in her vagina, then yes. But if what you meant was from her rear and in her anus, then no. Verily Allaah is not ashamed of the truth - do not enter your wives in their anuses!" [as-Shaafi, al-Baihaqi and others: Saheeh]
• Fourth: "Allaah does not look at one who comes to his wife in her anus". [an-Nasaa'ee: Hasan isnaad and supported in "al-'Ishrah"; at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Hibbaan].
• Fifth: "Cursed are those who come to their wives in their anuses." [Aboo Dawood, Ahmad and others with hasan isnaad and is supported].
• Sixth: "Whoever has sexual intercourse with a mentruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad. [Aboo Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh].
  7. Making Wudhuu' between 2 acts with one's wife
  When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wudhuu', based on the statement of the Prophet : "When one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to return another time, let him perform wudhuu' between the 2 times (In another version, the same wudhuu' which he performs for prayer) for verily, it will invigorate his return."[Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaibah and others].
  
  8. Bathing is preferable
  Bathing, however, is preferable to merely making wudhuu' in such situations. Abu Raafi' narrates: "That the Prophet made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the house of each one. He (i.e. the narrator) asked the Prophet: "Couldn't you have just bathed once (i.e. at the end)? The Prophet answered : "This way is purer, cleaner and better". [Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee: Hasan in "al-'Ishrah", and others].
  
  9. The Bathing of Husband and Wife together
  It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his. This is established by a number of authentic hadith, among them:
  
  1. On the authority of 'Aa'ishah (radiallahu anha) who said: "I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I would say: `Leave some for me, leave some for me!' She added: `We were in a state of Janaba (i.e. the state of having slept together).'"[Al-Bukharee and Muslim].
  2. On the authority of Mu'aawiya ibn Haida, who said: "I said: `O Messenger of Allaah, which of our nakedness is allowed, and of which must we beware?' The Prophet answered, "Guard your nakedness excpet from your wife or those whom your right hand possesses." (So it is permissible for both spouses to look at and touch the body of his or her companion even the private parts). He said: `O Messenger of Allah, what about if the relatives live together with each other?' The Prophet answered : "If you can make sure that no one ever sees your nakedness, then do so." He said: `O Messenger of Allah, what about when one is alone?' The Prophet said: "Allah is more deserving of your modesty than are the people"."[Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh].
  
  10. Making Wudhuu' after Sex and before Sleeping
  It is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform wudhuu'. There are various hadith about this, among them:
  
  • First: On the authority of 'Aa'shah who said: "Whenever the Prophet wished to sleep or eat while in a state of Janaba (i.e. after having sex and before bathing), he would wash his private parts and perform wudhuu' as for prayer." [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].
  • Second: On the authority of Ibn 'Umar who said: "O Messenger of Allah, should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?" The Prophet answered: "Yes, after making wudhuu." [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. In another version: "Perform wudhuu' and wash your private parts, and then sleep." [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. And, in another version: "Yes, you can perform wudhuu', sleep, and bathe whenever you want." [Muslim and al-Baihaqi]. And, in still another version: "Yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." (This last version proves that this wudhuu' is not obligatory.) [Ibn Khuzima and Ibn Hibban: Saheeh].
  • Third: On the authority of 'Ammaar ibn Yaasir, the Prophet said: "There are three which the angels will never approach: The corpse of a disbeliever; a man who wears perfume of women; and, one who has had sex until he performs wudhuu'." [Abu Dawood, Ahmad and others: Hasan].
  
  11. The Ruling of this Wudhuu'
  This wudhuu' is not obligatory, but is very highly and definitely commendable. This (i.e. its not being obligatory) is based on the hadith narrated by 'Umar in which he asked the Prophet: "Should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?" To which the Prophet answered: "Yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." [Ibn Hibbaan: Saheeh]. This is also supported by other hadith, among them a hadith narrated by 'Aa'ishah who said: "The Prophet used to sleep in a state of janaba without having touched water, until he would get up later and bathe." [Ibn Abi Shaiba, at-Tirmidhee, Abu Daawood and others: Saheeh].
  In another version narrated by 'Aa'ishah , she said: ""He used to spend the night in a state of janaba until Bilal came in the morning to make the adhaan. Then, he would get up, bathe while I looked at the water dripping from his head, and go out. Then, I would hear his voice in the Fajr prayer. Then, he would remain fasting." Mutarrif said: "I said to Aamir: In the month of Ramadhaan?" He said: "Yes, in Ramadhaan and in other than Ramadhaan." [Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others: Saheeh].
  
  12. Making Tayammum in a state of Janaba instead of Wudhuu'
  It is also permissible to make Tayammum sometimes instead of wudhuu' before sleeping. This is based on a hadith of 'Aa'ishah in which she said: "When the Prophet was in a state of janaba and wished to sleep, he used to make wudhuu' or Tayammum." [Al-Baihaqi: Hasan]
  
  13. Bathing before Sleeping is Perferable
  Bathing however, is perferable to any of the above-mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais who said: "I asked 'Ai'ishah : "What did the Prophet do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?" She answered: "He did all of those things. Sometimes he bathe and then slept. And sometimes he performed wudhuu' and then slept." I said: "Praise be to Allah who made things flexible."[Muslim, Ahmad and Abu `Auwaana].
  
  14. The Prohibition of sex when She is Menstruating
  It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur'an:
   "They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They
  are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in
  their courses, and do not approach them until they are
  clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may
  approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for
  you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him
  constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure
  and clean." [Al-Baqarah, 2:222]There are also hadith about this, among them:
  
  •  First: "Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad."
  • Second: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, who said: "When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophet was asked about this, and Allaah revealed the verse: "They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a
    hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in their courses, ...Then the Prophet said: "Be with them in the house, and do everything except for intercourse itself." The Jews said: "This man wants to leave nothing which we do without doing something different." Then, Asyad ibn Hudair said: "O Messenger of Allah, verily the Jews says such-and-such, shoudl we not then have sexual intercourse during menstruation?" The Prophet's face changed such that they thought that he was enraged with them, so they left. As they were coming out, they saw a gift of milk being brought to the Prophet. The Prophet then sent someone after them to give them a drink of milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry with them." [Muslim, Abu 'Auwaana and Abu Daawood].
  15. The Penitence of One who Has Sex during Menses
  Whoever is overcome by desire and has sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating and before she becomes clean must give the value of one dinar's weight of gold or about 4.25 grams (4.2315 to be more precise), or half that amount. This is based on a hadith narrated by 'Abdullaah ibn 'Abbaas from the Prophet in relation to one who enters his wife while she is on her period as follows: "Let him give one dinar in charity, or one half dinar." [At-Tirmidhee, Abu Dawood, At-Tabaraani and others: Saheeh].
  
  16. What is Permissible when She is on her Periods
  It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several hadiths about this:
  First: "and do everything except intercourse itself." [Muslim, Abu 'Auwaana and Aboo Daawood]
  Second: On the authority of 'Aa'ishah who said: "When we were on our periods, the Prophet used to order us to put on a waist cloth that her husband can then lie with her." One time she said: "... her husband can then fondle and caress her." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslims and others].
  Third: On the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet who said: "When the Prophet wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her private parts, and then did whatever he wanted." [Abo Daawood: Saheeh]
  
  17. When is it Allowed to resume Sexual Activity after Menses?
  When she becomes clean of any menstrual blood, and the flow stops completely, it is allowed for them to resume sexual activity after she washes the place where the blood had been, or performs wudhuu', or takes a complete bath. Whichever of these three alternatives she does makes it allowed for them to resume sexual activity, based on Allaah's statement in the Qur'an:
   
  "But when they have purified themselves, ye may
  approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you
  by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him
  constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean." [Al-Baqarah 2:222]
  This is the position of Ibn Hazm, 'Ataa, Qatadah, al-Awzaa'ee and Daawud az-Zaahiree and of Mujaahid: as Ibn Hazm says: "All three of these are a purification - so whichever of them she uses after the cessation of her periods, then she is lawful for her husband."
  The same term is used to mean washing the private parts in the Aayah revealed concerning the people of Qubaa:
   "In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loves
  those who make themselves pure." [at-Tawbah 9:108]
  There is nothing here in the Aayah however, or in the Sunnah, to restrict the Aayah in question to any of the three meanings - and to do so requires a further proof.
  
  18. The Lawfulness of Coitus Interruptus
  (Withdrawl of the penis from the vagina at the time of ejaculation with the purpose of avoiding impregnation. This can be done only with the permission of one's wife).
  It is allowed for a Muslim man to practise coitus interruptus with his wife. There are several hadith about this:
  First: On the authority of Jaabir who said: "We were practising coitus interruptus, and the Qur'an was being revealed." [al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. In another version, he said: "We used to practise coitus interruptus in the lifetime of the Prophet. This reached the Prophet, and he did not prohibit us from doing it." [Muslim, an-Nasaa'ee and at-Tirmidhee].
  Second: On the authority of Abu Sa'eed al-Khudhriy, who said: "A man came to the Prophet and said: "I have a young girl (right-hand possession), and I practise coitus interruptus with her. I want that which men want, but the Jews claim that coitus interruptus is minor infanticide." The Prophet said: "The Jews have lied, the Jews have lied. If Allaah wished to create a child, you would not be able to prevent it." [An-Naasaa'ee in al-'Ishrah: Abu Dawood and others: Saheeh].
  Third: On the authority of Jaabir, a man came to the Prophet and said: "I have a slave girl who serves us and waters our date trees. Sometimes I go to her, but I dislike that she should become pregnant by me". The Prophet said: "use coitus interruptus if you like, but whatever has been ordained for her will come." After some time, the man again came to the Prophet and said: "She has become pregnant!" The Prophettold him: "I told you that whatever has been ordained for her will come." [Muslim, Abu Dawood and others].
  19. It is Preferrable not to Practice Coitus Interruptus.
  Not practising coitus interruptus is preferable for a number of reasons:
  First: It is harmful for the woman, since it reduces her pleasure by cutting it short. If she agrees to it, it still contains the following negetive points.
  Second: It negates part of the purpose of marriage which is enlarging the Muslim nation through offspring, as in the statement of the Prophet: "Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers." [Abu Dawood, an-Nasaa'ee and others: Saheeh]. This is why the Prophet once referred to it as "minor infanticide" (and not because it is forbidden as infanticide is forbidden) when asked about it saying: "That is minor infanticide". [Muslim, Ahmad and al-Baihaqi]. For this was preferable in the hadith narrated by Abu Sa'eed al-Khudhriy saying: "Coitus Interruptus was mentioned in the presence of the Prophet and he said: "Why would one of you do that? (note he did not say "let none of you do that") Allah is the Creator of every single soul." [Muslim]. In another version, he said: "You act and you act. There are no people destined to be from now until the day of Qiyama but that all of them will be." [Muslim]
  
  20. What the two Spouses should Intend with their Marriage
  Both spouses should enter into marriage with the following intentions: freeing themselves of unfulfilled sexual desires, and protecting themselves from falling into that which Allaah has forbidden (i.e. adultery and fornication). What's more, a reward as the reward for sadaqa (voluntary giving of charity) is recorded for them every time they have sex. This is based on the following hadith of the Prohpet narrated by Abu Dharr: "Some of the companions of the Prophet said to him: 'O Messenger of Allaah, the affluent among us have taken the rewards (of the hereafter)! They pray as we pray, fast as we fast, and then they give charity from the surplus of their wealth!" The Prophet said: "Did Allaah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily for every time you say Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Allahuakbar (Allah is Most Great) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa." The Companions said: "O Messenger of Allaah , is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?" The Prophet said: "Don't you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?" They said: "Why, yes! He said: "In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward." [Muslim, an-Nasaa'ee in al-'Ishrah, and Ahamd].
  
  21. What he should do the Morning After His Wedding Night
  It is desireable for the husband to go to his relatives who came to visit him in his house, on the following morning, to give them greetings and pray for them. It is also desireable for them to do likewise for him, as in the following hadith narrated by Anas : "The Messenger of Allaah gave a feast on the morning of his wedding night with Zainab, at which he fed the Muslims to satisfaction on bread and meat. Then, he went out to the Mothers of the Believers (i.e. to his other wives), gave them greetings and prayed for them, which they returned in kind. This is the way he used to do on the morning after a wedding night." [Ibn Sa'd and an-Nasaa'ee: Saheeh].
  22. The House must have a Place for Bathing
  The married couple must have a place to bathe in their house, and the husband must not allow his wife to go to the public bath houses. This is forbidden, and there are various hadith about it, among them:
  First: On the authority of Jaabir who said: "The Prophet said: "Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not allow his wife to go to the Public baths. Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not go to the baths except with a waist-cloth. And whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him never sit at a table at which intoxicants are being circulated." [Al-Haakim, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh]
  Second: On the authority of Umm ad-Dardaa' who said: "I came out of the public bath and I met Allaah's Messenger who said to me: 'From where have you come O Umm Dardaa'?' I said: 'From the baths'. Then he said: "By the One in whose hand is my soul, every woman who removes her clothes anywhere except the house of one of her mothers has torn down all that veils her before ar-Rahman." [Ahmad : Saheeh]
  Third: On the authority of Abu al-Maleeh who said: "Some women from Ash-Shaam entered upon 'Aa'ishah and said: "Where are you from?" The women answered: "We are of the people of Ash-Shaam (the area of present-day Syria)." 'Aa'ishah said: "Are you perhaps from that district which allows its women to enter the public baths?" The said: "Yes". She said: "As for me, I heard the Messenger of Allaah say: "Every woman who removes her clothes other than in her house has torn down all veils of modesty between herself and Allaah." [at-Tirmidhee, Abu Dawood and others: Saheeh]
  
  23. The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
  It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:
  First: "Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets." [Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others].
  Second: "On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that." Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]
  
  24. The Obligation of a Wedding Feast
  The husband must sponsor a feast after the consummation of the marriage. This is based on the order of the Prophet to 'Abur-Rahman ibn 'Auf to do so, and on the hadith narrated by Buraida ibn At-Haseeb, who said: "When 'Ali sought the hand of Faatimah (the Prophet's daughter) in marraige, he said that the Prophet said: "A wedding (and in another version "a bridegroom") must have a feast." The narrator said: "Sa'ad said: '(a feast) of a sheep.' Someone else said: 'Of such and such a quantity of corn." [Ahmad and at-Tabaraani: Its isnaad is acceptable as al-Haafiz Ibn Hajr says in Fathul-Baaree: 9/188]
  
  25. The Sunnah of the Wedding Feast
  The following should be observed with regard to the wedding banquet:
  First: It should be held ('aqb - Fathul Baaree: 9/242-244) three days after the first wedding night, since this is the tradition of the Prophet which has reached us. On the authority of Anas who said: "The Prophet entered upon his wife and sent me to invite some men for food." [al-Bukhaaree and al-Baihaqi]. Also on the authority of Anas, he said: "The Prophet married Safiya, and her freedom was her dowry. He gave the feast for three days." [Abu Ya'laa and others: Hasan].
  Second: One should invite the righteous to his banquet whether they be rich or poor. The Prophet said: "Do not be the friend of any except believers, and have only the pious eat your food." [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh].
  Third: If one is able, he should have a feast of one or more sheep. Based on the following hadith, Anas said: "Abdur-Rahmaan came to al-Madeenah, and the Prophet assigned Sa'ad ibn Ar-Rabee' al-Ansaariy as his brother. Sa'ad took him to his house, called for food, and they both ate. The Sa'ad said: "O my brother, I am the wealthiest of the people of al-Madeenah (in another version: "... of the Ansaar"), so look to half of my property and take it (in another version: "... and I will divide my garden in half"). Also, I have two wives (and you, my brother in Allaah, have no wife), so look to which of mine pleases you more, so I can divorce her for you. Then upon the completion of the prescribed waiting period, you may marry her." 'Abdur-Rahmaan said: "No, by Allaah, may Allah bless you in your family and your property. Show me the way to the market-place."And so they showed him the way to the market-place and he went there. He bought and he sold and he made a profit. In the evening , he came back to the people of his house with some dried milk for cooking and some ghee. After that some time elapsed, until he appeared one day with traces of saffron on his garments. The Prophet said to him: "What is this?" He said: "O Messenger of Allaah, I have married a woman among the Ansaar." The Prophet answered: "What did you give her for her dowry?" He answered: "The weight of five dirhams in gold." Then, the Prophet said: "May Allaah bless you, give a feast if only with one sheep." 'Abdur-Rahmaan said: "I have seen myself in such a state that if I were to lift a stone, I would expect to find some gold or silver under it." Anas said: "I saw after his death that each of his wives inherited one hundred thousand Dinars." [Al-Bukhaaree, an-Nasaa'ee and others].
  Also on the authority of Anas he said: "I never saw the Prophet sponsor such a wedding feast as the one he gave for Zainab. He slaughtered a sheep and fed everyone meat and bread until they ate no more." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim and others].
  
  26. Wedding Feasts can be give with Other than Meat
  It is allowed to give the wedding banquet with any food which is available and affordable, even if that does not include meat. This is based on the following hadith narrated by Anas: "The Prophet stayed between Khaibar and al-Madeenah for three days during which he had entered with his wife Safiya . Then I invited the Muslims to his Wedding feast. There was neither meat nor bread at his feast. Rather, leather eating mats were brought out and on them were placed dates, dried milk, and clarified butter. The people ate their fill." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim and others].
  
  27. Participation of the Wealthy in the Feast with their Wealth
  It is commendable for the wealthy to help in the preparations for the wedding feast based on the hadith narrated by Anas about the Prophet's marriage to Safiya: "Then, when we were on the road, Umm Sulaim prepared her (Safiya) for him (the Prophet and brought her to him at night, and so the the Prophet awoke the next morning a new bridgegroom. Then he said: "Whoever has something, let him bring it." (In another version, he said "Whoever has an excess of provisions, let him bring it.") Anas continues: "And so the leather eating mats were spread out and one man would bring dried milk, another dates and another clarified butter and so they made Hais (hais is a mixture of the above three things). The people then ate of this hais and drank from pools of rainwater which were nearby, and that was the wedding feast of the Prophet." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslims and others].